The Blog I Will Finish Writing When I'm Married

I wanted to get a head start on this blog that I’m thinking about writing when I am married. It’s just burning in my heart so I will get a head start on it; plus I want to help all my single ladies out there on the subject of singlehood and waiting.  As you probably have concluded, I am not married yet. I am a single woman and happy about it.  But it wasn't always this way. I used to say to God, “Lord, where in the world is he?!” I remember being so frustrated because the clock was ticking and my train was leaving (whatever that means!).  So big was my frustration that I even went as far as thinking that God didn't love me or had forgotten about me. I was overwhelmed at the thought that God wasn't listening to me, that He didn't care enough to give me what I wanted, plus the frustration I felt for even feeling I needed something when God should have been more than enough.  But on this journey, which I am still on, God has spoken to me about certain things that have steadied my heart and have brought so much peace to my soul.

The first thing I have learned is to know that God loves me and to never question it. The moment we begin to think God doesn't care about that area in our lives is the moment we've forgotten who He is. It is a diabolical strategy; its main purpose is to get us away from our beloved Savior.  God loves you, no matter what. Let not what you do not have determine how you see God. God knows, He knows! He hasn't forgotten! He never forgets! He's just too good to forget! :)

Secondly, I learned that all the desire we have to meet that special person is normal and the perfect thing to do with those desires is give them to God. Elisabeth Elliot said, "If the yearnings went away, what would we have to offer up to the Lord? [...] How would we learn to submit to the authority of Christ if we had nothing to submit?" What we do with those feelings is we surrender them to the Lord.  When our desires are in the hands of God, they are under the control of the Spirit, where He can lead us to do His beautiful and perfect will.

I also learned not to initiate anything but to wait upon the Lord.  I think there is a hopeless romantic in each one of us. We want to meet our Prince Charming and have the perfect fairy tale. And because we are so eager to have this story start in our lives we begin to DO things so we can start our own story. Since God is taking His time, we assume He needs a little help from us. So we begin to do things. We begin texting someone that has caught our eye, or we approach them, or we "accidentally" bump into them, but the problem is that we try to "help" the guy notice us! But wait a minute, if this was the guy for you, shouldn't he be noticing you from the get go or approaching you without any help from you!? If you have to "help" the guy, the reality is that he doesn't really like you.  And that's just fine! You deserve a guy who will make the effort to approach you. :D Yes! Yes you do! And when he does, feel free to respond and choose as the Lord leads you.

Lastly, I learned to be careful with creating false hopes.  Our minds can create unreasonable expectations and imagine what is not there. A guy may approach us just for friendship, but because we are so eager to see our fairy tale come true, our minds are already imagining the guy at the altar! Unbeknownst to the guy, we are already seeing ourselves in our wedding gown, with our hand wrapped around his arm! Unfortunately we end up disappointed when we see that it didn't work out. Of course it didn't work out! All this time we had been expecting something that our minds created when we should have based our expectations on reality. As Elisabeth Elliot puts it, "Don't expect anything until the declaration is clear and forthright." In other words, do not have any expectations until he has expressed and shown his commitment to you. And if you are a guy and you're reading this, if you don't like a girl, don't give her false hopes! If a girl is starting to fall for you, and you don't like her like that, make sure you don't feed her false expectations! Come on guys!!!! Don't be cruel! (And all the ladies said AMEN!).

I will finish writing this blog when I have met my Prince Charming (It will be part 2!) :)  But I didn't want to wait until then to show you the things I am learning now as a single woman. The same points I have mentioned also apply to all the single guys out there. So to all my single friends, (1) God loves you and cares about that area of your life, never doubt it!, (2) Surrender your feelings to Him, (3) Know your role as the one who makes the first move (men) or the one who responds (women), and (4) Be careful with false and unreasonable expectations.

With love,

KT

To All Pastors' Kids Out There

A beloved pastor has passed on to be with the Lord: Ps. Fulton Buntain, an incredible man of God who committed his life to building God's kingdom on earth. It was hard not to smile when you saw him! The anointing of God surrounded him and it was noticeable. Today, our church staff welcomed his family into the church offices with hugs and love. My sister and I hugged Michelle Cox, one of his beautiful daughters. We couldn't contain our tears as we heard her say, "We love our dads." Yes, indeed we do :)

Being a Pastor's Kid is not easy, but it is wonderful. There was never a moment in my life when I wished I wasn't a Pastor's Kid. It was who I was. It is who I am. As a pastor's kid we get to see the good, the bad, and the ugly in ministry. We hear things, we know things, yet we cannot act upon our knowledge; instead, with love and patience, we must wait for the Lord to bring wisdom and direction, all in His time. And as we struggle waiting for something to happen, or for the "ugly" things to subside, our dads who are also our pastors help us see beyond them.  Our dads show us that not only is there "good" in ministry, there is also "glorious."

We pastor's kids get to see this "glorious" every day...people receiving Jesus, the sick finding healing, families coming back together, young people leaving their addictions, disciples committing themselves to the work of the Lord, radical men and women who choose to open their houses to start a small group, and the list goes on.

So if you are a pastor's kid, don't let the "ugly" things overshadow the "glorious" things. No matter what satan says, no matter what you see around you, no matter how you feel, there is always more GLORY than ugly.  Lately I have been thinking about buying a hybrid car, and no joke...all I see out on the road now are hybrid cars!!!! What I'm trying to get at, is that the more you want to see something, the more you will see it. So my dear PK's, if you are longing to see the glory of God, that is ALL YOU WILL SEE, and the ugly things will be in the distant, where God's wisdom and direction will turn them beautiful.

To all the daddies who are also pastors: THANK YOU for helping us see the GLORY in ministry. And to all the PK's out there, may the longing to see God's glory be ever growing in your hearts :)

Love,

A proud PK